Brother Can You Spare a Dime?

I applaud Ryan Day for his strength, courage and compassion and I agree with much of what he says. I think that many of us, myself included, are only a paycheck or two away from being unable to pay our mortgage, rent or utility bills. And Ryan offered a candid glimpse of the homeless world. But that glimpse came through a window with a limited view. Because we cannot see the ‘homeless experience’ through any eyes but our own and must measure the actions of others by the yardstick of our own reality.

Many homeless individuals live in worlds with realities much different from ours. Ryan was an inexperienced ‘homeless’ college man for whom being homeless was an experiment, not a continuing lifestyle choice. After being homeless for over 21 years, I would suspect there is something about the street life that appeals to “Shamus” but feel fortunate that I do not understand what that attraction might be. As for the unwashed server, I too have worked in many restaurants but am cynical enough to think that there may have been some creative ways to have accomplished being clean enough to have kept a job. Especially if you were clean enough to have been hired just three days before.

I also believe that most people do not judge, criticize or speak rudely to anyone who is homeless unless they have had a prior unpleasant experience. Before recent ordinances, I was approached almost daily by people asking for change and I use the word ‘approached’ only because the word ‘accosted’ seems like an overstatement. The point is, no one ever seemed concerned about how they were behaving towards me. If it’s true that you teach people how to treat you, then the homeless in downtown St. Augustine have taught me to give them a wide berth.

Ryan became bored after just a day or so and, if faced with homelessness as a permanent situation, would probably have found some way of altering his status – to me, that is the difference between Ryan and the chronically homeless. One looks for solutions to what is perceived to be a temporary problem, the other searches for ways to survive within their chosen sphere of existence. Our society is much too concerned with ‘fixing’ what we cannot understand. We see things through the filters of individual experience; those filters can sometimes be obstructive. Many of the homeless are intelligent survivalists who are homeless by choice even though we do not understand the thought process that leads them to make that choice. Some people actually do not care about a daily, weekly or monthly shower, do not want a roof over their heads and do not mind dumpster food. Given, that is, the alternative of a daily routine involving on-going responsibilities. Some also enjoy the camaraderie of the homeless camps. They are looking, not for a change in status, but for a means to sustain that status without having to alter their lifestyles. And please understand that this is not a criticism. There are a multitude of people out there who would not choose to live my life just as I would not choose to live theirs, homes not-with-standing.

I have to admit that I resent people asking me for money, especially people who are complete strangers - I resent it even more when those strangers feel that they are actually entitled to my cash. I work hard and I don’t have much and so there is no such thing as ‘spare change’ to me. Sometimes I wish other people would just give me some of their money for no reason at all, but I really don’t feel that I have the right to approach them on the street and ask them to do that. Again, that’s my own perception; others have the right to do for themselves what I don’t feel is right for me. And we all have the right to refuse the requests of others without feeling intimidated, heartless, inhumane or politically incorrect.

And, let’s not confuse love and compassion with pity and condescension. Isn’t ‘fixing the plight of the homeless’ just a nice way of saying we want everyone to look, behave and act like the majority of us do? Affordable housing, clean living conditions, home-cooked, nutritious meals, etc., etc. Why is it so difficult to believe that some people do not want to live that way? And doesn’t our insistence that they do make it all the more difficult for them to admit that they don’t? Most of us have rules, regulations and ordinances to obey and so we make our choices and accept the consequences for our actions. Perhaps we should allow the homeless to do the same. Yes, their choices have limited their options, but that is their consequence. Allowing people to live in our backyards and beg from our neighbors is a decision that is up to those of us who pay for the land. And, sometimes, majority does get to rule.

I agree that we need to look more closely at providing stepping stone services to those for whom being homeless is a temporary and unwelcome circumstance, and I congratulate Ryan for his willingness to become involved in an issue that is important to him. But the truly homeless person will not choose the road that leads to a more conventional lifestyle. Because that roof over their head will bring with it steady employment, income tax, social security numbers, census bureaus, federal, state and local tracking methods, responsibilities, rules, regulations, commitments and obligations. When all a homeless person really wants is your spare change.