Thanks for nothing JEA

Not too long ago the Times-Union reported the latest JEA plan to increase our utility bills by as much as 9 percent in the next three years. This after an announcement last year that gas prices were prompting an increase, and that came on the heels of a "long-needed water and sewer charge increase."

JEA's explanation is consistent with each increase -- it's long needed, we've got too much debt and we need to pay it off, rates have been some of the lowest in all of Florida and after these increases they still are (In other words, every body else is doing it, so we are, too ... just not as much in the past five years).

I have already seen the effect of JEA's new charges on my bill, and I'm struck by a sad irony. The utility goes out of its way to ask customers to be good stewards of natural resources -- use less water to protect the aquifer, use less A/C to save electricity, and so on. It offers tips for accomplishing this such as set your thermostat to 79 or 80 degrees, which can save a few hundred bucks a year.

Turns out those tips are basically pointless with the new increases in my bill.

I like the fact JEA lists how much water and electricity I use in the current month and in the same month a year ago. That helps me determine how successful my household is at saving the planet. Well my June bill shows I used about 4,000 gallons less water this year and several kw hours less of electricity.

And my bill was more expensive this year.

So it looks like I'll have to save double those amounts to see any savings now ... and even more to see savings the next year and the next year. Or so my fuzzy math tells me.

I suppose I avoid watering my lawn ... during a drought ... with a homeowner's covenance rule that forbids me to let grass die without eventually paying a fine.

I could light candles at night instead of using lamps ... thereby adding heat to my home in the middle of summer ... not to mention posing a fire risk. Then the fire department will have to use more water to douse the flames on my home.

Tell you what, JEA, I'll make a deal with you. I'll go along with your savings/increase plan (like I have a choice) if you consider some savings ideas, too:

1) No gas-powered vehicles -- Convert all your trucks to electric or hydrogen-based fuel as soon as possible. If gas prices are dragging your operation down and costing me more money, you should be more proactive in reducing dependence on oil. Now I know this will be a hardship at first with a hefty up-front cost, but you can spread the buying of these vehicles out for three years ... and even then your vehicle payments should still be some of the lowest in Florida.

2) Run cozy executive offices on solar power -- If my grass is going to live or die depending on Mother Nature's wrath, perhaps your operations should rely on her power more often, too. Besides, I'm sure the top floor of your building has a thermostat set at a responsible 80 degrees, right?

3) Provide a hurricane cost break -- When a hurricane approaches (even a tropical storm) and you decide to pull the plug on my power for safety reasons, I've got no complaints ... until I see that my bill went down only slightly after the power is turned back on. Add on a 10 percent cost break out of good faith to your customers.

I'm sure there are other ideas out there. For now, I'll continue to enjoy July in Florida in my oven of a house, sitting in a recliner watching my grass die and the night-light candles wilt.